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Hey guys. You all are basically my life so I figured I should keep you updated on it. I am trying to get art done, especially commissions, but I have been absolutely steamrollered by depression and I'm finding it very difficult to get back up. If I owe you art, please be patient with me, I am trying very hard but I have fallen into a dark place that I haven't seen since 2012. I am attempting to make a therapist appointment and to get my life back in order but it's very difficult when you've lost the will to do....well, anything. I want to assure you all that I am safe, and I am making every effort I can to get out of this mindset. It may take a little while as I've...well, basically lost my entire support structure due to my job, but I will try to get back on my feet fast. By the way, if any of you have links to online resources (preferably chatrooms of some sort) that help to cope with depression, suicidal ideation, and/or eating disorders, please link me. I tried 7cupsoftea but the one-on-one nature triggered my anxiety. Thank you all for your endless support. I know I don't reply to every comment I get but I read every single one. I love all of you, and I hope none of you are going through this too. If you are, though, send me a note, I'm happy to talk with you <3
Commission Queue
Since I'm getting a bit more work at the moment and life has gotten more busy for me (prepping for surgery, other personal life tasks) I wanted to post a very primitive commission/work queue so people would know where they stood! I'll likely look into creating a more professional queue when I have a little more free time & energy but hopefully this is a useful enough stand-in
2022 Art Vision
basically just art & writing goals/accountability for myself, somewhat carried over from my previous journal entry from last year, once again! this isn't very interesting for any of you all I'm sure, but I like having it around for my own purposes ┄∞┄ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏғ ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛʏ ┄∞┄ ░▒▓█ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴀʟs █▓▒░ ∞ Write the re-connection between EoI & Nightshrike / Flock Together [complete; 5.8k words] ↳ "Epilogues": ↳ Athena & Astra + Gabe [in progress; 627 words / ??] ↳ Sethfire & Audrianna [in progress; 260 words / ??] ↳ Gabe & Kohao [complete; 1.4k words] ↳ Anarchy & Bayer + Coahoma ∞ Write about the development of various friendships between EoI and Nightshrike between 2014-2017 (& post-reconnection) ↳ (pre-Waterfront) Everyone & Bryluen; expand on who she presented herself to be during the first few years ↳ (pre-Waterfront) Gabe & Kohao [complete; 2.7k words] ↳ (pre-Waterfront) Anarchy & Coahoma/Bayer [in progress; 1.4k words / ??] ↳ (post-Waterfront) Chey &
20/21 Vision
basically just art & writing goals/accountability for myself, half carried over from my previous journal entry from last yr woop ┈┈┈┈┈ ┄∞┄ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏғ ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛʏ ┄∞┄ ∞ Write the initial meeting of EoI & Midnight Scars / Bonds of Brotherhood, Scars, and Art [complete; 6k words] ∞ Write Kohao's first meeting with Storm / Looking For A Tornado [complete; 3.5k words] ∞ Polish up writing about Kohao & Storm's developing friendship/bonding / Call The Ships To Port [complete; 1.9k words] ∞ Write additional vignettes about Storm & K-O's friendship [complete; 4.5k words] ∞ Write about Seth and Jazz's friendship [complete; 4k words] ∞ Write about Kohao meeting Nick / follow up on their drug use [complete; 3.8k words] ∞ Write about Athena & Wendy's relationship [in progress; 1.9k words / ??] ∞ Vignette about Kohao finding out via Nick abt Jazz & confronting Seth [complete; 2.3k words] ∞ Write about Jazz's introduction to EoI [complete; 4k words] ∞ Write the re-connection between EoI &
Juneteenth
Would like to publicly recognize Juneteenth this year, a day of observance that apparently wasn’t even acknowledged as a state holiday here until 2014 and therefore escaped much of my attention— especially due to my privilege. Now, in 2020 and with all that’s going on, I feel it’s imperative that this day be seen by people like me, not just on a calendar, but truly seen. Learned about. I don’t want to be a white voice stealing celebration from a day not meant for me—but I’d like to call the attention of others in my position of privilege; to see this day, acknowledge it, and acknowledge that there is still more to call for than what it celebrates. If freedom has been declared achieved, then let us now call for—and amplify the calls around us for—Justice. Slavery is not, as some will say, some historical artifact “that happened 400 years ago” and has no bearing on the modern day. Slavery did not even end entirely in the United States on this day in 1865. And with the
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Yo', just going through my journals now, or I would've responded.
I don't know of any chat rooms/forums that are still up and running as of now.. but me and my three best friends have all gone through depression and/or severe anxiety at some point, one of my friends is/was borderline anorexic and was an unhealthy vegan for a long while trying to lose weight even though she was underweight already.. and I have problems with binge eating and am overweight (not obese, but fat, by medical definition). If you ever need to talk, I can confidently recommend her to be willing to give you advice (She gives the best encouragement and advice), or even just talk, she's a very kind person who's always willing to help, and I'd like to think I am too, so if you ever need someone to talk to, we're here .u. . I know you said that the one-on-one setting triggered the anxiety, but, it's all I can really think of that I can offer 'XD
So yeah.. pretty much everyone I know has been in a dark place, I'm attracted to those types of people, people who are hurting, I like to try and bring a bit of sunshine to them ^ ^; even though I don't have much to offer.. and you always seem like one of those people who deserves that bit of happiness. So. hERE I AM NERVOUSLY EXTENDING A HAND OF FRIENDSHIP
What's always helped me during those dark moments, is to focus on the fact that it's ended before, and that the end is coming, even if it doesn't feel like it. You just focus on what you /need/ to accomplish and let everything else fall away and don't worry about it, don't worry about what you /should/ be feeling, or what you /should/ be doing, or what you /think/ everyone expects of you, just do what you absolutely need to do and then take it easy by doing something that takes your mind of everything. Just take everything one day at a time and before you know it, you'll be feeling better. I know that my dark place is different from everyone elses, but, that's the advice I give myself, maybe it'll help you too.
I don't know of any chat rooms/forums that are still up and running as of now.. but me and my three best friends have all gone through depression and/or severe anxiety at some point, one of my friends is/was borderline anorexic and was an unhealthy vegan for a long while trying to lose weight even though she was underweight already.. and I have problems with binge eating and am overweight (not obese, but fat, by medical definition). If you ever need to talk, I can confidently recommend her to be willing to give you advice (She gives the best encouragement and advice), or even just talk, she's a very kind person who's always willing to help, and I'd like to think I am too, so if you ever need someone to talk to, we're here .u. . I know you said that the one-on-one setting triggered the anxiety, but, it's all I can really think of that I can offer 'XD
So yeah.. pretty much everyone I know has been in a dark place, I'm attracted to those types of people, people who are hurting, I like to try and bring a bit of sunshine to them ^ ^; even though I don't have much to offer.. and you always seem like one of those people who deserves that bit of happiness. So. hERE I AM NERVOUSLY EXTENDING A HAND OF FRIENDSHIP
What's always helped me during those dark moments, is to focus on the fact that it's ended before, and that the end is coming, even if it doesn't feel like it. You just focus on what you /need/ to accomplish and let everything else fall away and don't worry about it, don't worry about what you /should/ be feeling, or what you /should/ be doing, or what you /think/ everyone expects of you, just do what you absolutely need to do and then take it easy by doing something that takes your mind of everything. Just take everything one day at a time and before you know it, you'll be feeling better. I know that my dark place is different from everyone elses, but, that's the advice I give myself, maybe it'll help you too.